He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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