He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
