Having a random hookup so left but love u
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize