So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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