3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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