we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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