Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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