the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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