..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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