What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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