I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize