I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize