STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
