Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
