So drunk, too bad you don't want this
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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