If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
