Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
