I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Watching her eat just hurts me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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