Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
