I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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