i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
