I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
