just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
