hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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