Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
