wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
