No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
