Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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