I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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