Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
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Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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