I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
