We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
