Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
