wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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