marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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