dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
