i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
