In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
