): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
