ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
