her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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