so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
