you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
