Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
