ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
