You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
