Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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