Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
