Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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