the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
