please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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