Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
