just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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