The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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