I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
