is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
