I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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