Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
