the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Couch. On fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
