ugly people sure do ruin things
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize