i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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