Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize