i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
