he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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