can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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