VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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