Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
