yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I deserve this hangover.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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