two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
