maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
