You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
